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Session05
The Heavy Hammer Heroes Abridged Script Session 5 Starring : Abood as Zed, Amey as SIMON, Niiveth as Nemo, Rohit as Oruborolus, Zubair as Griki and Avi as God. FADE IN: EXT. TOWN OF SALT MARSH The five heroes finally get some time off, they discuss the options they have and realize they must find work or suffer CRIPPLING DEBT. ORUBRISBIS (Idea bulb on head) Hey guys, I…. need to be with nature…. For nature things….. I so totally don’t want to die - so I’m going to head into a marsh far far away. GOD (face palms) ZED (Melancholy flash back) I’ve always wanted to read, I…. I had a man in the army with me. One whom I spent much time with, if only I could have read the notes he gave me….. We could still be together. SIMON I WilL HeLp YoU REaD GRIKI ''' I think what works best for me is to beg for alms, not like I could kill things in my advanced age. (Wipes blood from tiny bell) '''NEMO Arrgg, I be seasoned fisher oldman. I would like to capture some fish onboard your fine vessal….. Arg scallywag. - ORUBU-RUB-RUB-RUB Okkkaay, here I go…. All alone on this journey… to look at a spider. SUDDENLY A MAN APPEARS MAN Mr. Orubriebread! It is incredibly dangerous for you to go there, in fact even with five capable friends it would be perilous! Please rethink your decision! ORUBOROZ ''' Well, thank you concerned friend, I will refrain from killing myself. '''GOD (Wipes sweat off brow) INT. SALT MARSH WAR ROOM aka ANDER’S CLUBHOUSE ANDERS (Wizzing aeroplane noises and crashing ship noises) ZED (Winks at commandar, beckons him to meet outside the tent''{which tent?}) '''COMMANDAR' Attention Soldier! (Signals- not in front of other people) GELLAN ''' Gentlemen, we have amassed our army, which is conveniently NOT displayed on our war map. Here is the Lizard Lair you told us about, so what you’re going to do is, go there scout it out - report back to us and we will then go in full force with the army. '''THE HEROES (nods) GELLAN ''' So right, there are two ways. One is by water using ships and the other is by land trekking through a dangerous jungle and swamp. And if the terrain didn’t put you off, there are lots of creepy crawlies and bad people in the swamp and who knows what could happen to a lone five scouting part- '''SIMON, ZED, ORBORTRON We, will valiantly go by land. GELLAN Right so let me finish. There is the SEA in which you will sail comfortably by boat, you can take a look around and come back. Or LAND or should I say DEATH SWAMP which will take you three times more effort and time to traverse. SIMON, ZED, ORBORGINSTINE We hear you, we understand you. We choose to go by land. GELLAN, GOD, GRIKI, NEMO Dear god. EXT. SWAMPY DEATH SWAMP The Heavy Hammer Heroes tread onward through the swamp making good progress? At one point NEMO and ORURUSBO notice things moving and catch a glimpse of a Giant Frog leaping away. ORUSTEVEIRVIN CRIKEY! That was a big one! What a beauty she is. (Transforms into tiger) Raawwrr Aarrgg Warrrrrr (Bounds behind Frog leaving party behind) REST OF PARTY I guess, we just wait here? ORUBRISBRIS Arg! A small toad holding a spear, my druid senses do not tingle. DEATH TO NON-TINGLERS (pounces on toad creature) REST OF PARTY Gets attacked by other toad spear men. The HHH manage to fight off about five of them and took much longer than they should have. All of a sudden - Another toad creature with a crown riding a Giant Frog comes forth. KING TOAD WE WILL CONQUEST WITH YOU HHH Oh yay! Do you hate the lizard men too? KING TOAD I mean, WE WILL CONQUEST YOU! HHH Nani A fight of honor breaks out between HHH and the King, his pet and his Side Man. SIMON tried to deceive which works momentarily but his ruse is uncovered! SIMON TOAD I am Ze KING - Ribbit TOADS (crickets chirp) SIMON TOAD A Revolutiounn? Why? Can’t you just eat cake. HHH Kills the three with minor troubles, the rest of the Toads give them the King’s Horde, which is hella mula. HHH now a little richer, shall walk forth and continue on their scouting mission. ORUHIPPEBRO I spy with my little eye, a creature with eight legs and many eyes. THE REST (Groan) ''Loot Found: '' *325 Platinum Pieces *1 Helm of Underwater Action